The Very Gradual A to Z Guide to Zimmer Zen - still on track (for now)

I've been on a power-nap retreat but am back now
so moving on slowly....

I is for Inka (a kind of spiritual certificate)
Traditionally, this is a Japanese seal of approval from a Zen master that confirms you are enlightened - or pretty close to it anyway. In Zimmer Zen we award these very rarely and only to those who can demonstate beyond doubt that they have completed an intense training programme in power-napping. They may also be required to show that their life is an eternal delight.

Zim-Zen Tip: If you want to add one of these certificates to your CV you will need to demonstrate that you have been experiencing delight in your life and that you are not addicted to power-napping.

J is for Jataka (or what you did before you discovered Zimmer Zen)
In classical Buddhism this refers to the accounts of the Buddha's former lives. All we require is that you are willing to share your experiences of what good and bad things you did in your life before you discovered Zimmer Zen.

Zim-Zen Tip: Try not to let your memories run away with you and resist the temptation to confess too much about all the naughty but nice experiences you've had. You might regret it later.

K is for Karma (what we do with our lives)
This is a very tricky Buddhist term for Zimmer Zen practitioners as there are lots of ways to interpret it and yet it's basically quite simple: if you think, say or do good things you should live a much happier life but if you think, say or do bad things then basically you're buggered!

ZimZen Tip: Just remember that hindsight helps you to understand where you've come from, foresight helps you to understand where you're going, and insight helps you to understand where you're at right now. Reciting the mantra "shit happens!" may help too.