Zimmer Zen is for those who focus their practice on the ordinariness of daily life rather than on the minutae of Buddhist doctrinal issues - and there's no better place to start than with breakfast. So here's a lovely haibun about an encounter with a toaster by my good friend Ken Jones: Satisfaction Guaranteed
Dead toaster
the autopsy frustrated
by knurled nuts
To bring it back to life we turn to the INSTRUCTIONS folder, sandwiched between a French bread trimmer manual and all you need to know about the Funkwecker Radio-Controlled Alarm Clock. Alas, no dramatic Exploded Parts Diagram - to every humble grub screw it's unique number. We trawl the aseptic text for signs of humanity. There are some mildly lyrical - even compassionate - moments, as in the advice to "remove any loose raisins from the surface of the bread...this will help them from falling into the toaster." Hapless crumpets are more summarily dealt with - "Slice each crumpet into equal halves."
Generally the mood is one of anxiety - even mild neurosis. "Bread may burn! This toaster must be watched!" And then there are some dark but vaguely suggestive warnings: "Do not use this appliance for other than it's intended use.
Under "Toasting Notes" the owner/operator is taken more seriously in hand, beginning with the proposition that "Toasting is a combination of cooking and drying the bread". The writing becomes so fretfully didactic as to suggest it is the work of one of Adorno's "Authoritarian Personaly Types", possibly a fascist and spouse beater. And the following is decidedly esoteric:
Applicable for custom-made-face on toast ONLY. Generally speaking, the higher browning controls setting, the higher thye quality of custom-made-face toast. Experience it yourself and enjoy the toast!
Note the sudden generosity of spirit at the end. It moves Noragh to draw a "custom-made-face" on the inert toaster, as a kind of wish fulfilment magic. Meanwhile, from the fault-finding section I sketch out a decision-tree, to which she adds a few crows.
We try to give the writer a more sympathetic ear. And then, in an obscure corner of the text, he or she observes off-handedly that "the handle may not latch if the browning control is set to minimum." Yes indeed!
Surely one area of life where "Satisfaction is Unreservedly Guaranteed".
Clack!
Two perfect slices
shoot out into this troubled world
Generally the mood is one of anxiety - even mild neurosis. "Bread may burn! This toaster must be watched!" And then there are some dark but vaguely suggestive warnings: "Do not use this appliance for other than it's intended use.
Under "Toasting Notes" the owner/operator is taken more seriously in hand, beginning with the proposition that "Toasting is a combination of cooking and drying the bread". The writing becomes so fretfully didactic as to suggest it is the work of one of Adorno's "Authoritarian Personaly Types", possibly a fascist and spouse beater. And the following is decidedly esoteric:
Applicable for custom-made-face on toast ONLY. Generally speaking, the higher browning controls setting, the higher thye quality of custom-made-face toast. Experience it yourself and enjoy the toast!
Note the sudden generosity of spirit at the end. It moves Noragh to draw a "custom-made-face" on the inert toaster, as a kind of wish fulfilment magic. Meanwhile, from the fault-finding section I sketch out a decision-tree, to which she adds a few crows.
We try to give the writer a more sympathetic ear. And then, in an obscure corner of the text, he or she observes off-handedly that "the handle may not latch if the browning control is set to minimum." Yes indeed!
Surely one area of life where "Satisfaction is Unreservedly Guaranteed".
Clack!
Two perfect slices
shoot out into this troubled world
Haibun is a Japanese-inspired combination of haiku poetry and prose in a style originally attributed to Basho - a 17th Century Zen Buddhist monk and poet. Ken Jones is a Zen Buddhist and a recognised expert of the modern haibun.
No comments:
Post a Comment