Zimmer Zen

Montaigne: Wisdom From The West

2010-09-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

I've been a Buddhist hitch-hiker since the age of 21 and have learned what I can from a variety of different traditions over the years but I'm still not enlightened. So I think I'll cancel my regular contribution to Nirvana.com, which promised eventual enlightenment as long as I paid. I think I'll look elsewhere for inspiriration.

Just recently, I've been re-reading Michel de Montaigne's Essays, which I came across a decade ago, and I have to say that I think he is up there with the great and the good. I like the fact that in his Essays he just uses the happenings in his ordinary, everyday life to reflect on bigger things - very Zimmer Zen! I used to think that spiritual truth had nothing to do with ordinary life like eating, sleeping, shitting, etc. but Montaigne has helped me to realise that we need to ground ourselves in our ordinariness before we take on the more high-powered spiritual stuff. And he was no stranger to suffering either - he often experienced the agony of kidney stones and wrote about this in his book - so unlike some modern western Buddhist writers he does know what he's talking about I feel.

Wisdom is not geographical - sometimes it's on our own doorstep and we just don't realise it.

The Art of Life - a matter of perspective ?

2010-08-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

A good friend sent me this stunning picture of Edgar Mueller's amazing street-art, created on a flat sidewalk surface. The art of life is always a matter of perpestive, isn't it ?

Anyway enjoy and if you want to see more you can find it here.

The Tao of Zimmer Zen

2010-08-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

When I started out on the Zimmer Zen path a year or so ago I was focused on Buddhism and had completely forgotten how Zen had been shaped by Taoism, which is much more open to us older folk it seems. Taoism is best suited to those who no longer have to worry about earning a living, raising families or getting anxious about where the nearest toilet is when they go on holiday.

So, I have been re-reading the writings of the Taoist elders, Lao Tzu, Chuang Tzu and Lieh Tzu - all of whom looked kindly upon the ravages of ageing with good humour and a twinkle in their "I". Chuang Tzu in particular has a respectful disregard for religious and social convention which really appeals to me, and he mentions Lieh Tzu's ability to "ride on the wind" because he takes his existence lightly. Yeah, right! I suspect that the wind Lieh Tzu is riding on might be something intestinal rather than spiritual so I doubt he gets very far off the ground - but who knows ?

Buddhism in the West attracts a lot of young people and there's nothing wrong with that (I first came across the Buddha's footprint when I was 21) but I haven't come across much about how older people can connect to the dharma. Perhaps that's why I am drawn to more and more to Taoism.

Maybe if I take my Zimmer frame and glide into the wind I will fly like Lieh Tzu, although I doubt it...

No past, no future

2010-06-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

From time to time I log on to the US-based Buddhst website Tricycle (www.community.tricycle.com) and I've noticed that they've just started a forum on Zen teacher Susan Moon's new book "this is getting old: thoughts on ageing with humour and dignity". I haven't yet read the book but I'm intrigued by it because the blurb I've been reading on the internet suggests that it can be fun to get old. Nothing wrong with that of course - but what if you have dementia ? Where's the humour and dignity in that ? Maybe she deals with this in her book.

I wonder about the realtionship between the dharma and dementia because I've been caring for people in the advanced stages for over a decade now. In the early years, I had this romantic notion that those who have dementia, always having to live their life in the immediate moment, might experience it as spiritual in some way. But I no longer believe that. If you want to know what's it's like to be looking after someone with advancing dementia there is lots to be learned in Andrea Gillies wonderfully honest account in her recent book "Keeper". She and her family took on the care of her mother-in-law, Nancy, in an isolated house in the far north of Scotland. It's an inspiring and brutally honest account of what she and her family took on written with a lot of humour. Here's what she says about trying to spiritualise dementia:

"I sit with Nancy in front of the television and escape down my own wormhole, the one provided by the internet, laptop balanced on my lap. Somebody out in the odd, dislocated world of anonymous, typed-and-not-spoken conversation makes a light-hearted remark about the spiritual advantages of Alzheimer's. I don't bother shouting him down, as I know from previous experience that hundreds will be racing to do just that. Dementia carers are everywhere and fatuity isn't tolerated. The person (no gender ascribed, even) makes the point that living in the moment, only in the Now, is surely the target state of Buddhist teachings; that Nirvana is a state of perfection attained by being cut off from the past and future and their attendant states of wanting and anxiety. I can see what they're driving at and it's an interesting starting point for a discussion, but it's a debate that will never take place, as the self-appointed moral guardians that cluster at all such sites zoom in for the kill, hungry for the acclaim that will follow. Unfortunately, a state of bliss isn't the end point of Alzheimer's. Quite the reverse. The reality of having no past or future is that it isn't a state of perfection but of absence. The brain can't handle the absence and a chaotic, scrabbling sort of panic for order and meaning ensues. The Buddhist idea of living in the Now is, surely, something achieved through dealing with past and future, and not their abscence - of quencing their demands and silencing their voices. These are sleeping dogs, not missing dogs. In a state of Nirvana we'd have control over them, reconciled, having triumphed. An end to wanting and anxiety isn't ever going to be achieved through amnesia."

There's a lot of food for thought here I feel...

Reflection in the palm of your hand

2010-06-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

A long-time Zimmer Zen Buddhist friend sent this wonderful photo and I just wanted to share it - enjoy.

Paul McCartney

2010-06-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

A little taster of days gone by...

All Things Must Pass Away

2010-06-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

As I'm still in Beatles mode, here's one of the songs I've chosen to be played at my funeral - not that I'll get to hear it of course...

When I'm 64

2010-06-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

This is just for fun - and because Sir Paul McCartney (who says in the song that he would like to rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight) will be performing here next Sunday at the Isle of Wight Music Festival at the grand old age of 68 ...
Enjoy!

Meditation Rock

2010-06-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks I've been experimenting with a different kind of meditation technique that I came across several years ago but didn't feel ready for at the time. It's known as the "Rocking-Chair Meditation" and is ideally suited for Zimmer Zennists so I thought I'd share it with you. Jim Pym, a Buddhist Quaker, writes about it in his book "You Don't Have To Sit On The Floor: Bringing the insights and tools of Buddhism into everyday life" which was published in 2001, and here's what he says:

"Many years ago I came across a book which advocated using a rocking-chair for meditation. I do not think that the book was Buddhist and the title of it escapes my memory. In fact, I do not remember much about the book nor even the type of meditation that it proposed. It was just this one idea, "rocking-chair meditation" that stuck in my mind.

Probably, one of the reasons why this idea stayed with me was that one of my first teachers had left me a rocking-chair in her will. I still have it, and I do use it for meditation. Usually I just sit in it. There is something about rocking-chairs which helps the mind to become naturally still. The only effort you have to use is the slight movement of rocking. Even this soon becomes completely natural and effortless, and the mind can drift with the rhythm.

My rocking-chair is placed in front of a beautiful Tibetan thanka of Chenrezig, one of the forms of Avalokiteshvara. The combination of gentle rocking and the warmth and beauty of the painting, combine to bring me to a state of deep meditation without any of the usual barriers. This does not always work, but when it does it is something quite beautiful and unique.

The rhythm of a rocking-chair is suitable for reciting a mantra or short prayer. After a while it becomes perfectly natural and you do not have to give it any thought. Because of the painting of Chenrezig, I use the Mani Mantra or sometimes the Nembutsu, but you can use any mantra or prayer that has meaning for you. One of the most important elements of mantra that is often overlooked is rhythm and the use of the rocking-chair brings out this aspect. Rhythm becomes more than just an activity of the mind, as the gentle movement of the chair involves the whole body. This adds a new and different dimension to the meditation, and is so pleasurable that it seems to ask for further practice.

Even without the mantra, the gentle rhythm of the chair is a great help to the meditative state of mind. Dogen, the founder of the Soto school of Zen Buddhism, encouraged his disciples to "just sit" in zazen, without any effort to do anything else.

An old man used to sit for hours in his rocking-chair on the veranda of his house.

His young nephew asked him one day what he did there.

'Sometimes,' he said, 'I sits and thinks.

And sometimes I just sits.'

Meditating in a rocking-chair is a bit like both.

You might ask, 'what has this to do with Buddhism ?' The answer is probably nothing, but it does have a lot to do with Dharma. Dharma is the discovery of the naturalness of life, and there are few better vehicles to do this than a good rock on an old reliable chair. It feels like a chariot that carries its user to realms that are at the same time beyond this world and right here and now. Mindfulness is natural in a rocking-chair, but at the same time the rhythm and comfortable feeling combine to transport us beyond our usual consciousness.

If part of Western Buddhism is to discover the Dharma in our everyday lives, then I am sure that rocking-chairs will have a role in the future. A good rocking-chair is so ordinary, and yet it reminds us of an extraordinary state of mind which, if not already enlightened, is certainly on the way."

You Don't Have To Sit On The Floor: Bringing the insights and tools of Buddhism into everyday life.

Jim Pym (Rider 2001).

Why not give it a go...

Kalama Pyjamas

2010-05-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

One of the most helpful practices for Zimmer Zen folk is "power-napping", the ability to slip into deep and profound states of sleep from time to time. I have been giving some thought to how we might best encourage and support this practice and have realised that wearing the appropriate attire may help.

It never really occured to me that what we wear when we practice would make any difference until I read Alan Watts's tongue-in-cheek 1960s essay "Clothes-On and Off". Here's what he says: "Clothes, like our roles and personalities, should be worn easily and lightly in the realization that, because the whole universe is a masquerade, we may as well do it with the utmost flair and elegance." I agree so I would like to encourage the wearing of "Kalama Pyjamas". Ideally these would be made from black material with the main message "do not believe in..." on the front and with responses like tradition, rumour, and scripture in smaller type around it. I have my good friend Rebecca in the US to thank for this suggestion.

Of course, what you wear when you power-nap may not matter - but then again who knows ?

Tudong or not Tudong ? That is the question

2010-04-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

I've decided to abandon my plan to undertake a tudong around the UK using nothing more than my free bus pass as things didn't work out as I hoped after my little pilot study here on the Isle of Wight. For the past couple of months I've been turning up at my local bus station at 9.30am each morning intending to start my tudong journey. Why 9.30am ? Well that's because the local bus company won't let me use my pass until then as they think older folk don't really need to go anywhere until after a late breakfast it seems. When I get to the bus station I get on the first bus I see without looking at the destination because it's all about travelling rather than arriving I'm told.

Mind you, a couple of times this has back-fired because I've ended up on buses that just do a circuit around the town - I call them "samsara" buses and avoid them when I can. When I do finally get on a bus that takes me out of town I have to make sure I have what I call my "three jewels" with me - bus timetable, sandwiches to eat before noon, and my precious "Isle of Wight Loo Guide" as you never know when you might be taken short. Then I just settle back and just see what happens.

Observing fellow passengers is always interesting (the fact that I'm nosey helps) and sometimes I get the opportunity to chat to them about life, the universe and everything. But mostly I seem to spend time listening to endless mobile phone conversations that begin with "I'm on the bus....". And I also watch the incessant texting (oh the joys of the opposable thumb). I sometimes wonder how we might share Sid Arthur's teachings if he had been born today - and "Thus I have texted..." comes to mind. Still, I do get some respite from all of this as my main practice is "power napping" and so I do nod off occassionally if I feel in need of an empowering sleep and a snoring mantra.

So, tudong or not tudong, that's the question ? Well, for me it isn't a question I need to address. I think what this has taught me is that I don't really need to go anywhere else because wherever I go, I'll still be in the same place - right here.

The Zen of Bus Stops

2010-02-05T10:13:00.000-08:00

As today has been the first day for ages that the sun has shown it's face I thought I would do a trial run for my proposed buss-pass tudong, so in true Buddhist form I went to my local bus station with no destination in mind. I got on the first bus I saw, sat down, and immersed myself in the realisation that I was undertaking a journey with no goal and had the "'tis better to travel than arrive" mantra on my lips. It took me a while to realise that I was the only one on the bus - and quite a bit longer to notice that there was an "Out Of Service" display on the front of the bus!

The Buddhist bus pass path wasn't meant to be easy so I got on the bus behind it, deliberately not choosing to look at it's destination to see where I would end up, and twenty minutes later I was 5 miles away in Cowes on the northern tip of the Isle of Wight where I live.

Cowes is usually seen as a kind of yachting nirvana during the first week of August every year. I went into a local cafe and had a pot of tea but sadly I couldn't conduct a Zimmer Zen tea ceremony as the tea came in a teabag and the staff were not really familiar with Zen protocol. Such is life.

Stil, all in all, it was an interesting adventure...

Zero Tolerance

2010-01-29T08:13:00.000-08:00

As you will have noticed, these past few months I haven't posted anything but it's because I've been on a prolonged "hibernation" retreat. These are similar to the traditional Tibetan 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 days retreats where you don't get to interact with anyone and have your meals left for you outside your walled-up living space. However, a hibernation retreat is a tiny bit different as it involves mostly sleeping, accompanied by snoring mantras and an occassional take-away vegetarian pizza (or meals-on-wheels ready meal) .

Luckily enough my hibernation retreat came to an end just in time to enjoy my 60th birthday a few weeks ago. There's something about celebrating any birthday that has a zero at the end of it I feel, and as I've got older I've started to develop a "zero tolerance" of my ever-increasing age. Well, sort of...

My 60th birthday has entitled me to be the owner of a free bus pass which I can use on any or all local bus services throughout England (although not in Wales or Scotland - so much for a "United" Kingdom!). I can now travel from where I live in the far south to as far as Berwick-on-Tweed on the English/Scottish border free of charge as long as I use local bus services.

This freedom has inspired me to consider going on what Theravadin Buddhists call a tudong - a wandering from one place to another - although in my case it would be by bus rather than on foot. My aim would be to visit 108 bus stops along the way. This would, of course, give me an ideal opportunity to practice the paramita of kshanti or patience as in my experience buses tend not to come along for ages and then several arrive together.

The Very Gradual A to Z guide to Zimmer Zen - finally got there

2009-09-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

W is for Wesak (party time)

This term is used to denote a festival held to mark the birth, death and enlightenment of the Buddha, and is generally celebrated in the Theravadin traditions. It usually falls on a full-moon night in May each year and provides an ideal opportunity to have a party - no alcohol or other mind-altering substances allowed of course.

Zim-Zen Tip: These can be joyous occasions and provides an opportunity to reflect upon the Buddha and the founder of Zimmer Zen, Sid Arthur-itis. However be sure to take an ordinary nap (as opposed to a power nap) in the afternoon as these sort of things can go on late into the night. It's also probably a good idea to bring something warm to wear as you may be required to be outdoors for a while.

X is for...
Well, I can't think of anything you might need to know about Zimmer Zen beginning with X so just move on to Y - very gradually, of course.

Y is for Yoga
As a Zimmer Zen practitioner you may already have some experience of yoga, and if you do you will know that it's a spiritual practice focused on controlling the mind and body, with the aim of attaining liberation from our embodied existence. If you are a Yoga practitioner and are focused on your posture (or asana), be sure to keep taking your cod liver oil pills as they can help.

Zim-Zen Tip: There's no point in feeling physically uncomfortable when you practice in the Zimmer Zen tradition - so forget the full-lotus posture. And if you suffer from haemorrhoids it's probably not a good idea to sit on the floor anyway, so do be gentle with yourself!

Z is for Zimmer Zen
Well, this is what this blog is all about. Zimmer Zen came into existence not to make fun of old age, but to see the funny side of growing older. It also came into being to show that Buddhism itself could benefit from taking itself more lightly too. Hopefully, practitioners of Zimmer Zen will value sincerity more than seriousness where religion is concerned, and will do what they can to spread the word - and always remember that the best Zim-Zen word is "smile".

Zim-Zen Tip: If you like to focus on a mantra we recommend the word "smiles" - as the old joke goes there's a mile between the first and last 's'! Groan at the joke by all means - but smile too!

Well, that's the end of the very gradual A to Z guide to Zimmer Zen. Next, I'll be looking at how what's been explored here can be incorporated into our daily lives in a new post called "Zimmer Zen In Practice" (or ZZIP) so do stay tuned!

I'd also appreciate any comments/feedback, if there's anyone out there of course. Just talking to myself is a bit worrying to be honest... anyway, time to get back to my power napping practice.

The Very Gradual A to Z Guide to Zimmer Zen - almost there...

2009-09-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

S is for Satori (seeing things the way they really are)
This is a Japanese Zen term for experiencing things directly for yourself, rather than relying on what you've been told or what you have come to believe about reality. One way of looking at this is to remember those moments in your life when you knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that your life is perfect just the way it is.

ZimZen Tip: In ZimZen we call these experiences those "a-ha!" moments when something you've experienced becomes perfectly clear for the first time. Making sure that you regularly clean your glasses may also help.

T is for Tea Ceremony (ritualised tea drinking)
In Japanese Zen this is a very formal and posh practice that some say was used as a way to combat drowsiness whilst meditating. It's been practised since the 12th Century and has now become something of an art form.

ZimZen Tip: If you choose to take part in a tea ceremony make sure you choose the right kind of tea. You need to use the best quality tea so try to avoid Tesco's own brand and definitely do not use tea bags. Earl Grey is probably OK.

U is for Upasaka/Upasika (lay Buddhist men and women)
This is a Buddhist term for those of us who have had to fit our practice into our busy lives going out to work and bringing up families, rather than deciding to become monks or nuns.

ZimZen Tip: Given the vow of celibacy that Buddhist monks and nuns take, they still need us lay folk to produce the next generation of Buddhists if the dharma is not to die out. So rejoice in the fact that you have enjoyed sex in your life and may have brought forth children, who in turn may also bring forth grandchildren for you.

V is for Vihara (a roof over your head when it rains)
This term literally means a temporary dwelling - a kind of Buddhist Bed and Breakfast - where monks can stay for a while when the weather gets bad. In modern times, a vihara is a Buddhist monastery, not so much a B & B as a permanent residence for monks and nuns.

ZimZen Tip: It can be very helpful to stay at a Buddhist vihara from time to time during bad weather, so do take the opportunity if it arises. These days they have comfortable rooms and (in the more upmarket vihara) a place to park your zimmer frame. All rooms are non-smoking.

The Very Gradual A to Z Guide to Zimmer Zen - onwards and upwards...

2009-09-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

P is for Puja (a Buddhist ritual form of worship)

There are many forms of Puja in Buddhism, from the simple offering of flowers and a bit of chanting (aka community singing), to a more elaborate ceremony that may involve bending your bones to perform full-body prostrations - a kind of spiritual workout for your embodied self.

Zim-Zen Tip: A little bit of puja is a good thing and can be very inspiring but do be careful. Doing full-length prostrations can be strenuous and may cause embarrassment if you have to call an ambulance to help you get off up the floor.

Q is for....
Well, after consulting three Buddhist dictionaries I can't find any entries beginning with the letter "Q" - although the Oxford Dictionary of Buddhism cheats and includes the single line "Questions of King Milinda", so I think I'll cheat too and as far as I'm concerned, Q is for Queuing.

Zim-Zen Tip: You can safely bet your weekly pension on the fact that you will almost certainly spend a lot more time queuing than you will doing formal ZimZen practice. One way of utilising the time you spend waiting at supermarket checkouts or at bus stops is to develop what we call a "two-for-the-price-of-one" practice - devote equal time to reflecting on patience as the queue gets longer and on compassion for those who barge in front of you.

R is for Rebirth (born-again Buddhism)
This is the pre-Buddhist idea that after we die we come back in some form to do it all over again - and again. But as you've grown older you might have noticed that the "birth" bit of rebirth fades, and the reality of the fact that we will all eventually pop our cloggs becomes more prominent.

Zim-Zen Tip: It might be helpful to focus on "re-dying" rather than rebirth as it was a very long time ago when you made your entry into the universe this time around. One word of warning though: taking comfort in the idea of rebirth can lead to the desire to procrastinate - to put things off in this life that you might (or might not) deal with in your next one.

The Very Gradual A to Z guide to Zimmer Zen - plodding on again...

2009-09-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Time to move on a bit further...

L is for Lotus (flower power)
In Buddhism, the lotus is seen as a symbol of purity as its roots are immersed in mud but it blossoms above the water. Traditionally, the mud represents greed, hatred and delusion and the blossom signifies enlightenment. Quite a lot of Zimmer Zen practitioners are avid gardeners so they get the connection straight away.

Zim-Zen Tip: The Zen tradition has a strong horticultural connection but if you are one of those who feel that all you can grow in your garden is tired try not to despair. Just take a power nap and dream of lotus blossoms.

M is for Mara (the devil on your Zimmer frame)
Mara is traditionally seen as the voice of temptation. It's the voice we hear when we'd rather be down the pub or breaking any of the other precepts rather than practising Zimmer Zen.

Zim-Zen Tip: Ignore the voice if you can. If that doesn't work you could try singing out loud to drown out Mara's whisper - or as a last result try switching off your hearing aid (if you have one).

N is for Nirvana (the last breath)
This is another tricky issue for Zim-Zen practitioners. There are many ways of understanding it but Nirvana is usually translated as the blowing out of the flame of desire - mind you, blowing anything out takes a lot more effort as you get older, so do take care.

Zim-Zen Tip: Practitioners who have problems with breathing should be mindful about blowing out things (including the flame of desire) - however, if you have a puffer to help you breathe it could be helpful.

O is for OM (a spiritual work-out for your voice)
Om is an ancient Indian sacred sound thought to have great spiritual power. It's used to help you focus your mind but I've no idea how it works - if you know how it works I'd love to know.

Zim-Zen Tip: Reciting OM for too long may bring on a coughing fit so do be careful if you take up this practice. Reciting UM is a a little less stressful, but it may also connect you to a Buddhist website called "Unfettered Mind" so do remain mindful.

The Very Gradual A to Z Guide to Zimmer Zen - still on track (for now)

2009-09-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

I've been on a power-nap retreat but am back now
so moving on slowly....

I is for Inka (a kind of spiritual certificate)
Traditionally, this is a Japanese seal of approval from a Zen master that confirms you are enlightened - or pretty close to it anyway. In Zimmer Zen we award these very rarely and only to those who can demonstate beyond doubt that they have completed an intense training programme in power-napping. They may also be required to show that their life is an eternal delight.

Zim-Zen Tip: If you want to add one of these certificates to your CV you will need to demonstrate that you have been experiencing delight in your life and that you are not addicted to power-napping.

J is for Jataka (or what you did before you discovered Zimmer Zen)
In classical Buddhism this refers to the accounts of the Buddha's former lives. All we require is that you are willing to share your experiences of what good and bad things you did in your life before you discovered Zimmer Zen.

Zim-Zen Tip: Try not to let your memories run away with you and resist the temptation to confess too much about all the naughty but nice experiences you've had. You might regret it later.

K is for Karma (what we do with our lives)
This is a very tricky Buddhist term for Zimmer Zen practitioners as there are lots of ways to interpret it and yet it's basically quite simple: if you think, say or do good things you should live a much happier life but if you think, say or do bad things then basically you're buggered!

ZimZen Tip: Just remember that hindsight helps you to understand where you've come from, foresight helps you to understand where you're going, and insight helps you to understand where you're at right now. Reciting the mantra "shit happens!" may help too.

The Very Gradual A to Z guide to Zimmer Zen - Moving On Slowly....

2009-08-31T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm on a bit of a roll at the moment but it may not last long, so enjoy...

E is for Enlightenment
This is the goal, the reason you're on the Zim-Zen path. But there are many different interpretations of this term so it's probably best to view it as a state of "delight-enment" - where your daily experience becomes an eternal delight. Delight in the way you do ordinary things, delight in the way you do extra-ordinary things too, but perhaps most of all, just simply delight in the fact that you are alive.

ZimZen Tip: Too much delight may be harmful so follow the middle way and take all delightful things in moderation.

F is for the Five Precepts
As a Zimmer Zen practitioner you will probably have trangressed most of these by now: 1) try not kill anything 2) try not to take what doesn't belong to you 3) try not to indulge in illicit nooky (sex) 4) try not to tell porky pies (lies) 5) try not to get drunk or take substances that make you feel cool

ZimZen Tip: Been there, done that. No point in worrying about it now so let it go.

G is for Guru (teacher)
Choosing a teacher can be tricky for Zimmer Zen members as some of them will look about the same age as your grandchildren. Still, treat them with respect, listen to what they say, take a power nap (if necessary) and then make up your own mind whether or not to take any notice.

ZimZen Tip: If you come across a guru the same age as you (or older) be delighted - and invite to tea to swap memories!

H is for Haiku (Zen- inspired Japanese poetry)
Traditionally, haiku is a verse of 17 syllables arranged in a specific way and it's aim is to point up the directness of ordinary life. If you are poetically inclined you might find it useful to read them and then contemplate on their meaning between power naps. If you're not a poet just take the power nap.

ZimZen Tip: If you feel inspired to write haiku you might find it useful to take a more gradual approach by beginning with limericks. To get you started here's a first line:

"There once was a chap with a Zimmer..."

The Very Gradual A to Z guide to Zimmer Zen (Part One)

2009-08-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

I've not posted here for over four months and I have a simple reason for that - I just forgot! I would like to pretend that I've been on a long retreat exploring the nature of forgetfulness but I would be breaking the fourth precept (telling porky pies) if I did, so I won't.

I've been giving some thought to "The Very Gradual A to Z guide to Zimmer Zen " that I promised to share and I offer this as a first installment. Make of it what you will...

This simple guide is offered to help those coming to Zimmer Zen (Zim-Zen) for the first time. On your own Buddhist journeys you will have come across these terms before but here I will be interpreting them in the dim light of the Zimmer Zen teachings and offer them as arthritic fingers pointing a way forward. It's a gradual path so please don't rush and do feel free to stop if you have to when the needs of your bladder become more important than the Zim-Zen teachings.

A is for Anicca or "impermanence"
Everything changes. Hair changes colour and may slowly disappear all on it's own as the years roll by, skin gets more wrinkly (botox just delays things), and teeth eventually fall out and are reincarnated as dentures. Basically, the body goes it's own way and to continue charting its changes here is just too depressing, so here's the bottom line - we change moment to moment and eventually wear out, period.

ZimZen Tip: Change the things you can (especially your underwear), accept the things you can't change (e.g. local bus timetables) and get on with your life as best you can.

B is for Buddha
Buddha means "to be awake" and a lot of emphasis is put on the importance of staying awake. Of course, as you get older staying awake can become much harder so here's a suggestion: take up the practice of what we in ZimZen call "power napping". This is an advanced practice but here's how it works: start by taking a 10 minute power nap and increase the time slowly until you can power nap for several hours.

ZimZen Tip: Put the Tupperware box you keep your sandwiches in on the top of your head during meditation and secure it with a piece of string. If it falls off when you are power napping you still have a long way to go. Other people might think you are a tad eccentric but the more you practice equanimity the less you'll care, and the more they practice compassion the more they'll mind their own business.

C is for Citta or "mind"
This is an important term for Buddhists and needs a lot of thought. According to the original Buddhist teachings the mind is supposed to be pure in it's original state but as we get older the minds that we live with change. More often than not I forget that the mind is pure (or even exists) but never mind - as we say in ZimZen "if you don't mind, then it don't matter".

ZimZen Tip: Take another power nap!

D is for Dharma or "the way it is"
Dharma also refers to the teachings of Sid Arthur-itis. But for the ZimZen ladies who first came across Buddhism in the late 1950s/early 1960s and may have read Jack Kerouac's book "The Dharma Bums" the answer is yes - your dharma bum does look good in ZimZen robes!

ZimZen Tip: If you are a man take another power nap!

More to follow if I remember to post!

Zen in the Art of Toasting

2009-04-17T10:34:00.001-07:00

Zimmer Zen is for those who focus their practice on the ordinariness of daily life rather than on the minutae of Buddhist doctrinal issues - and there's no better place to start than with breakfast. So here's a lovely haibun about an encounter with a toaster by my good friend Ken Jones:

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Dead toaster
the autopsy frustrated

by knurled nuts

To bring it back to life we turn to the INSTRUCTIONS folder, sandwiched between a French bread trimmer manual and all you need to know about the Funkwecker Radio-Controlled Alarm Clock. Alas, no dramatic Exploded Parts Diagram - to every humble grub screw it's unique number. We trawl the aseptic text for signs of humanity. There are some mildly lyrical - even compassionate - moments, as in the advice to "remove any loose raisins from the surface of the bread...this will help them from falling into the toaster." Hapless crumpets are more summarily dealt with - "Slice each crumpet into equal halves."

Generally the mood is one of anxiety - even mild neurosis. "Bread may burn! This toaster must be watched!" And then there are some dark but vaguely suggestive warnings: "Do not use this appliance for other than it's intended use.

Under "Toasting Notes" the owner/operator is taken more seriously in hand, beginning with the proposition that "Toasting is a combination of cooking and drying the bread". The writing becomes so fretfully didactic as to suggest it is the work of one of Adorno's "Authoritarian Personaly Types", possibly a fascist and spouse beater. And the following is decidedly esoteric:

Applicable for custom-made-face on toast ONLY. Generally speaking, the higher browning controls setting, the higher thye quality of custom-made-face toast. Experience it yourself and enjoy the toast!

Note the sudden generosity of spirit at the end. It moves Noragh to draw a "custom-made-face" on the inert toaster, as a kind of wish fulfilment magic. Meanwhile, from the fault-finding section I sketch out a decision-tree, to which she adds a few crows.

We try to give the writer a more sympathetic ear. And then, in an obscure corner of the text, he or she observes off-handedly that "the handle may not latch if the browning control is set to minimum." Yes indeed!

Surely one area of life where "Satisfaction is Unreservedly Guaranteed".

Clack!
Two perfect slices
shoot out into this troubled world

Haibun is a Japanese-inspired combination of haiku poetry and prose in a style originally attributed to Basho - a 17th Century Zen Buddhist monk and poet. Ken Jones is a Zen Buddhist and a recognised expert of the modern haibun.

Zimmer Zen In A Nutshell

2009-04-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

History
Zimmer Zen is an as yet little-known school of Buddhism founded by it's First (and only) Patriarch, "Sid Arthur-itis" some years after his retirement at the age of 65. According to legend, it seems he was unhappy in his retirement and often ventured out beyond the confines of his nursing home. One day, whilst sat at the local pond feeding the dukkhs, he came across three sights that changed his life forever and brought forth what is now known as "Zimmer Zen". Unfortunately, he forgot what they were so we are none the wiser. Nevertheless, over time his teachings were formulated and are now revealed here for the first time.

The basic teachings of Zimmer Zen are simple but not easy to practice:

There are Four Zimmer Zen Truths
Bones get creaky, skin gets crinkly, brains get forgetful
The cause of all this is getting older
There is a way to make things easier
Follow the Eight-fold Zimmer Zen Path

The Eight-fold Zimmer Zen Path consists of practising:

Right Eating - eat lots of fruit and veg (try to avoid baked beans as much as you can)

Right Exercise - do lots of walking, dancing and 'horizontal yoga' (but only if you can manage it safely)

Right Viewing - get your eyesight checked regularly and be mindful of your TV and DVD choices

Right Speech - resist the temptation to gossip or express grumpy thoughts

Right Livelihood - make sure you collect your pension and any other benefits you are legally entitled to

Right Thought - be positive and remember the good things you've experienced

Right Mindfulness - pay attention to what's going on around and within you, and try not to be too nosey

Right Mobility - get out and about as much as possible and if you find it hard to be independently mobile, think Zimmer

Future Development
Zimmer Zen may only appeal to those who have been involved with the dharma for many years or who have come to it late in their life. However, as ZimZen does not wish to be seen as "ageist" young know-it-all Buddhists are also welcome - as they too may grow old one day.

Coming Soon: "The very gradual A to Z guide to "Zimmer Zen".

Welcome!

2009-04-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

This is a place for Western Buddhists who have been walking the path so long that they may (or may not) now need a Zimmer Frame to continue on their journey. It's aim is to celebrate both the wisdom and the pitfalls of growing older - and to do it with humour and good grace.

Zimmer Zen is an esoteric school of Buddhism which has emerged out of the teachings of the little- known teacher "Sid Arthur-itis" and will be shared here in the days to come.

A "Zimmer Zangha" is envisioned for the future if interest is strong enough so feel free to join in!

If you want inspiration, watch this and enjoy...